Have you ever imagined how we convey love without language? There is a group of children who can’t speak and have to taste all the bitterness of their early life. They suffer and struggle to survive. But there is a kind of love too, which brings these children hope for a new life. Like angels with broken wings, these children may be less than perfect but are still loved and valued.

Orofacial cleft

 “Can Di Talk in the future?”

The eyes of mama Xiao Li were fixated on the baby lying in his crib, above which a wind bell dangled. The baby had sparkling eyes full of curiosity for his small world. Below his nose Xiao Li saw a visible crooked centipede-like lip which is medically called orofacial cleft.

Technically, cleft lip is different from cleft palate. A cleft lip can be on one or both sides or in the middle of the lip. A cleft palate is congenital fissure of the roof of the mouth. Babies may have both the front and back parts of the palate open, and a large opening can go through the mouth into the nose. As a cleft lip and a cleft palate often occur together, they are collectively referred to as orofacial clefts.

Mama Xiao Li fell in love with Di’s smiles

 “After the surgery, we will start up systematic language training. And if the training works well, the child will have almost the same language skills as others when he grows up.” At such diagnosis of the doctor, Xiao Li sighed a relief but also began to worry. What if Di’s surgery fails? What if he has language impairments later? Will she stop loving him?

Xiao Li’s eyes followed Di all the time. When their eyes met, Di smiled. His smile was beautiful and charmed Xiao Li. Xiao li decided to care for him, no matter what happens.

Look, I can feed myself

Di was found on a roadside and taken to the welfare institution by a stranger. Xiao Li felt that it was fate that brought them together. For such young vulnerable lives, the world should be nice, and she wanted to let Di know this. But Di was difficult to feed. Xiao Li needed to use a spoon specially designed for children with cleft lip and palate. Even if she fed him very small mouthfuls from the corner of his mouth, almost half of the food flew out. They practiced over and over again. Di seemed to read mama’s mind. Sometimes he raised his chin so the food may come in more easily. His hand touched Xiao Li now and then, as if to say “Look, I can do it.”

Xiao Li often said that Di was so fragile but tried so hard to survive. She loved him dearly and gave him the best possible care. But wasn’t he taking care of himself in some way too?

As time went by, Di began to thrive. Xiao Li found that there was a pair of eyes following her anytime and anywhere. The little one was always ready to reach his arms out for a hug. He would cry out aloud when she left and burst into laughter when she came back.

Di was given up by his birth mother but always had a loving Chunhui mama by his side. They are not biologically related but have a close bond. From the experiment of the famous rhesus monkey, we learn that for a baby physical contact is more important even than breast feeding. Di was not Xiao Li’s birth son, but she knows that for him, she was his mom.

All the suffering will go away

Di received the surgery as scheduled. It took five hours. When he was wheeled out of the operating room, Xiao Li saw his whole face was swollen, sutures crammed below his little nose and watery blood flowed out of his mouth. Xiao Li felt her heart broken and tears streamed down her face. She stayed by Di’s side all the time. The moment he woke up, he saw Xiao Li and then burst into a rage of tears.

Constant crying was likely to tear apart Di’s sutures. To prevent against this, Xiao Li held him in her arms and raised her shoulder (alternating between left and right) so Di would rest his head on it. They paced slowly in the room. Di was quiet, and his blood-stained drool wetted Xiao Li’s shoulders. Di’s sutures were like a knife stabbing right into Xiao Li’s heart and she didn’t want him to suffer any more.  “Di, cheer up. All the suffering will be gone someday,” she softly encouraged him.

Di took a turn for the better. Three days after the surgery, he began to take food, and four days later, his sutures were removed. The doctor was overjoyed to see Di’s healed mouth and praised Xiao Li for her impressive care. On their way back to the CCH, Di held tight at Xiao Li’s shirt collar. Xiao Li lowered her head and saw Di was staring at her too. They smiled at each other, as they had done the first time they met. Angels might not be perfect but they are always as pure as crystal.